Tyrion looked pointedly at his right hand. "Why, I have steel in my hand, Ser Alliser, although it appears to be a crab fork. Shall we duel?" He hopped up on his chair and began poking at Thorne's chest with the tiny fork. Roars of laughter filled the tower room. Bits of crab flew from the Lord Commander's mouth as he began to gasp and choke. Even his raven joined in, cawing loudly from above the window. "Duel! Duel! Duel!" Ser Alliser Thorne walked from the room so stiffly it looked as though he had a dagger up his butt. Mormont was still gasping for breath. Tyrion pounded him on the back. "To the victor goes the spoils," he called out. "I claim Thorne's share of the crabs."
Crab legs are one of the easiest things to cook. Seriously.
3 bottles lager beer (I used Narraganset...because...well...it sounded nautical)
3 lemons, cut in half (plus extra for serving)
1 large head garlic, cut in half
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp paprika
1 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
Note: this is a minimum recommendation to reflect the sparseness of the Wall. Add more to taste.
(or you can just use old bay for all of the above if you don't mind using pre-made seasonings)
3lbs Alaska King Crab Legs, split
1 stick butter, melted
Add beer, lemons, garlic, and seasoning to a very large stock pot then bring to a boil. Add crab legs then place a lid on top and cook for 4 minutes (it’s ok if lid doesn’t shut all the way.) Remove meat from shells then serve with butter.
You can also make a delightful dry rub "dip" by mixing the aforementioned seasonings to taste. Delicious.